Chapbook:More Than What You See-Massage Therapy: II

My summer professor,

and the supervising professor,

standing behind her,

tested my knowledge after

nearly 2 years.

It was almost done

but the emotions

did not want to meet my brain.

Tears threatened at the edge of my lids.

I hear nothing from her moving lips.

I am dead weight in the mud of my limitations

and because of this, I can’t explain any of this away.

The words met my ears

but the process could go no farther

to answer her question.

“Never amount to anything…

you stupid-weird-learning-disabled-

freak” my insecurities spat.

I tried not to panic in the face of

my professor’s pleading look

and the supervisor’s smugness aimed at her back.

When I couldn’t answer

my professor’s face fell.

The supervisor took me

Into the hallway and said

“You passed this test by the skin of your teeth,

Maybe you should find some other major.”

I walked away as the walls crumbled

underneath their disapproving stares.

I failed everyone and… myself

and it sickened me to my core.

Truth was, I wanted to help people

but I didn’t want to touch

naked people for the rest of my life.

What else can I do?

Psychology intrigues me

as much as the classes scare me.

I can wrap my mind around it all now,

massage included.

I just needed time.

If only I knew that then.



Get my Chapbook by clicking in this link


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