Chapbook: More Than What You See-Wrong

As a kid
I sat on the couch
my math paper in my stepfather’s hands.
My mom and I spent
God knows how long
to get it right.

Like paper through a typewriter
my math moved through his fingers.
Every time he said “wrong”
to another equation I have to do again
the tears welled up in my eyes
and I sank into the cushions
wanting more than anything
to run and hide from my math problems.
For I wasn’t and will never be
that Girl
I always wished I could be.
It seems She is everywhere
in many faces and forms
as friends and acquaintances.
She who can do it all with little help.
I hated help. I wanted to be Her because

She is right
I am wrong

She is cool and social with ease
but I stutter when I speak.

I wish I were able to write
a three page paper
in one night like Her
instead of taking three weeks or more.

I wish I could tell the professor
I struggled to stay below the maximum
word count like Her
instead of struggling
to reach the minimum.

I wish I could say those words
over the two inch thick
book on my desk
and continue reading
after I am done talking.

I wish I were always right, like Her.
Help is something
I can’t run away from
although I have tried.
But to this day
when I see people like Her
I feel the equation
that equals my Being
will always be Wrong.



Get my Chapbook by clicking in this link


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