To My Aquarius

“Why did you have to ask me that question?”
I asked before I held you tighter than ever as
I repeat through my sobbing that I,
don’t want to have this conversation.

I don’t want to say, that despite
the doubt eating away at my heart
I still love you with every fiber of my being.

I don’t want to add myself to the chain
of girls that have called
you friend instead of lover.

Because I want you to be my lover.
I want to love you and keep you
always to myself forever.

I am not leaving because you’re too sweet,
or too kind, or too good for me.
And you are certainly nothing
like my brother.
I want to keep you
for all of those reasons.

I am leaving because
there are things I want
that you can not give me.

I need to grow a maturity that I
feel this relationship
can not give me,
I want a man with a streak of SandM
and a sunnier disposition
and a passion
that only mine can tame.

I can’t stand the thought of what
you will do when I tell you,
nor do I want to see
Tears in your eyes and
me the reason for them.

You try to pull away and I hold you tighter.
For I don’t want this moment to end.
Because the second I let go.
Everything will change.

So, please stop asking me why I cry cause in
me is a wanting for it all to go away.
Just as much as I, don’t want to have
this conversation.

-SR-

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