Me reading my poetry

This is a series of 7 poems with a bonus story at the end, about how I used Loki to get better sex out of The Fifth. The fifth is in reference to my last and fifth boyfriend.

I had been consumed by this past relationship for a few months now. So much so, I had to stop all my writing, and other creative endeavors, to get this out of me and out of the way of everything else. So here is the youtube link to all of the videos. click the youtube bottom to get to all of them or click the 1/8 in the upper left corner.

thank you

-Silvaan Ruth-

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Prose: Horrible Way to Die

When you realize your behavior

shows the abuser

You accept their abuse…

Is a horrible feeling

and a horrible

way to die.

By Silvaan Ruth

Help me create more: click the link below share and/or buy

http://www.redbubble.com/people/silvaanruthart

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SilvaanRuthPottery

My poetry Pages

Fairytales

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-hC

Chapbook: More Than What You See poems of dyslexia

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-1R

Love/Betrayal/Anything Else

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-uw

Thank you!

 

 

Poem: I Hope

I hope every time

you think of me.

You feel the lurch.

Guilt of what you did.

The truth we share

memory of your misdeeds.

You called me friend.

Now we are nothing at all

but memories.

By Silvaan Ruth

Help me create more: click the link below share and/or buy

http://www.redbubble.com/people/silvaanruthart

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SilvaanRuthPottery

My poetry Pages

Fairytales

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-hC

Chapbook: More Than What You See poems of dyslexia

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-1R

Love/Betrayal/Anything Else

http://wp.me/P50Gwi-uw

Thank you!

 

Little Poem: Wink

HeathEyeI don’t believe in your niceties.

You say

I love you

Another way,

to say

I hate you.

It may come as a surprise.

I love you too

Poem and drawing By Silvaan Ruth

Drawing of Heath Ledger’s eye. Medium: pastel on paper.

Potsandpoetry blog

Help me create more: click the link below share and/or buy something strange I made.

http://www.redbubble.com/people/silvaanruthart/portfolio

A New Page of Love Poems and More

I got love Poems here. Get your love poems here! http://wp.me/P50Gwi-uw

Thank you all and enjoy.

Silvaan Ruth

Potsandpoetry blog

Help me create more: click the link below share and/or buy

http://www.redbubble.com/people/silvaanruthart/portfolio

Link to fairytale Stories http://wp.me/P50Gwi-hC

Link to my Free Chapbook: MTWYS http://wp.me/P50Gwi-1R

Thank You!

Poem From MTWYS: Fourth Grade Evaluation

postcard-2

Fourth Grade Evaluation

I remember bits and pieces of it.
The pattern she showed me,
I could not decipher then,
now has faded completely.

What I remember the most
was how my mother fished for
more of an answer than just,
“I am a ‘learning disability.’”
I remember how the woman answered

voice rushed as if, overheard,
she would be fired.
“Twenty years ago your daughter
would be severely dyslexic.”

Now I’m weirder than ever.
Now I’m a stupid girl with a fancy label.
I am in this world where I am weird,
created for the teasing of my peers.

I don’t want to be weird.
I want to be me, but
who am I at this desk
if not a weird dyslexic?
My mother however, told me when I asked,
“What does ‘dyslexic’
mean?”

“It means you have to be
really smart to be dyslexic.”
She said.

Sadly, the good things said
are often drowned out by the bad…

for I was a Learning Disability
to everyone who taught me.
“Hopeless”, they thought as they threw out
my test scores to make their
school look smarter.

Thrown into a room with two others
that knew no other label. Really,
just a learning disability?

Pulled out of class
to do work with the Special teacher…
Now I am special? Another way of saying
now I am a weird-stupid-learning-disability.

Another would tell my mother I was…”So severe”
that I would never learn to write or read.

Never amount to anything…
you stupid-weird-learning-disabled-
freak…is all I heard.

By Silvaan Ruth
Potsandpoetry

For more of these Poems click Here
Here

Chapbook:More Than What You See-A Journey Ends

The frustrations of my
limitations will never end,
they will only lessen
for there is always a way
it’s just not everyone else’s
and there is always more
to be found in the trees and cherry’s.
I have reached the end
of this tunnel of mud.
A new tunnel has begun.
This one is deeper
but brighter than the one before.
I wonder what lessons
it will hold and where it goes…

-Silvaan Ruth-
PotsandPoetry

Want to see all of my poems? Check out the link below
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/441082

Chapbook:More Than What You See-Giving Notice: II

The last class was over
and I held my diploma in my hand, tears in my eyes
but I didn’t want to cry.
I am a graduate.
Why should I?
I went back home with a smile on my face.
yet it was hard for me to celebrate
for the “What now?” the age-old question
nagged at me. School was my job
and summer was my time to recoup.
I was now a graduate with no experience
besides volunteering at my mother’s
elementary school library.
Ironic, for I have always had an aversion to libraries.
Never felt like I belonged there.
I took over for a summer once for a few weeks paycheck.
The only job I ever had.
That was four years ago.
I thought it was hopeless
but I tried. I applied to several places
one of them, a local art and education supply store.
They called me back after a few days.
I was so excited and nervous.
When she asked for me to come in
for a twelve minute test.
I sat down at her desk
and told her that I was “dyslexic”
the second I said it her eyes glazed over.
(I am screwed) I thought
but I pushed that aside
and answered the questions
in the allotted time.
She took the test and left the room
to check the answers.
A few minutes later she came back.
“If we have any more questions
we’ll get back to you.”
She smiled sweetly, but I knew
they we never going to call me.

I felt so foolish for even saying the word
“dyslexic” I walked out feeling ashamed
and embarrassed again.

Dyslexia.
People don’t give the benefit of the doubt.
They believe the gist of a definition
they heard decades ago
as the end all and be all
of your intelligence.
Should I have begged for a chance?

I should have learned my lesson
and not given the notice.

-Silvaan Ruth-
PotsandPoetry

Want to see all of my poems? Check out the link below
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/441082

Chapbook: More Than What You See-Giving Notice

I would have given a notice of disability
to my last professor
in my college career
but I knew I wasn’t going to need it.

One day that professor
asked me to read a paragraph
to the class.
I sat there stalling for time before reading
trying to calm the nervous heat
that crawled up my neck.
(Maybe I should have given him the notice.)
I thought before I began.
I heard a voice reading with ease
slow, a little awkward,
but not stalling
until the word “abide”
and someone quickly
saved me. I thanked them
and kept going.

When I was done I waited
for the stares in my direction,
to feel the shame
and embarrassment
but none of it happened.
I used to agonize over those situations
analyzing what I did wrong
and how I could have done it all differently.
I didn’t do any of that.

-Silvaan Ruth-
PotsandPoetry

Want to see all of my poems? Click this link here
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/441082